Women of Wisdom

A Time to Mourn

Recently, God reminded that there are times in our lives when we must take the time to mourn.

We don’t really care to talk about mourning, because within it are deep, dark places of pain we would rather not see, but mourning in this case was the place where Jesus asked, Father if it possible let this cup pass from me. Luke 22:42. There is a place of separation that must be mourned and grieved if you are to become the anointed one.

Jesus had a great relationship with the father. He was doing his work in the earth. But his purpose for coming to the earth was to experience the cross.  As great as his works were in the earth, it was not until the cross he experienced his finish.

At many times in my life I have endured what I thought was a finish. These places that appeared to be finished, when not met with a time of mourning caused me to go back to things as though they had not been finished. When we don’t allow ourselves to go through the most deep, darkest places, we risk repeating the cycle of our DNA. God intended you find separation so you can walk out his purpose for your life. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck on the wrong side of the cross. 

If you find yourself in this moment needing to mourn, ask God to show you how and what it means for your life. Let him show you how to face YOUR personal time of mourning with victory.

Read Ecclesiastes 3:4.

Much Love, 


PS: I am currently accepting clients in my Designing Your Life strategies program. Click on the link to schedule a FREE 20 minute discovery call.

————————————————-Soul Care

This week we will look further into the process of emotional care.

Last week I wrapped up a month-long radio segment on self-care. During the process, I discovered my own need to care for my soul. When it comes to caring for ourselves, we at times rehash the same types of care, hoping it will result in a different outcome. (Yep, it’s crazy behavior.)

Paying attention to where you are in your own care is critical to your soul’s success. I realize that we lack a continuous self-care routine because our practice is skewed by rehashing old methods which no longer work. To do something different requires we change. Change can be hard for us because it requires we STOP……..and do it again another way. Stopping is a problem because we have convinced ourselves how much time we will lose. It’s not necessarily true but because we believe it, it’s our truth.

Soul care (the inside-out process of care) teaches us that the period of STOP has been built into our journey. We have to trust that taking the time to practice care on a deeper level emotionally is worth the investment it requires.

Developing your Soul is a must. It is the wellness part of health and wellness. Being made whole requires faith in the process and in the one who created it!

This is soul care!

Much Love,

Coach Carla

PS: I am currently accepting clients in my coaching program. Click on the link to schedule a FREE 20 minute discovery call.



Your Emotional Health Matters: Healing from the Inside Out

This past weekend, I participated in a Health and Wellness workshop. I spoke on the topic, Emotional Health: Understanding Emotional Triggers.

Our emotional or mental health has long been an unaddressed issue in the African American culture. We would rather sweep this issue under the rug than have a healthy dialogue.

About 10 years ago, I started this conversation because of my own personal challenges with being healthy emotionally. I became very fragile mentally when my desire for personal growth was met with a lack of support at home.  Staying strong mentally is a struggle when your support system is unhealthy.  These types of relationships can cause us to shrug off how we feel as unimportant. This is a huge mistake.

In our families, we do not consider getting help because we fear what others will think. It is a shame and creates shame in those who would seek help.  Our help should include prayers of those who care and professionals who are skilled in their faith and craft.  An inability to ask for help can keep us stuck in unhealthy situations.

The key is to have checks and balances in place before a breakdown. We must constantly be in touch with our emotional/ mental state in order to know what triggers us emotionally. The things that set us off are indicators of the places where we need to pay more attention. If we wait until we shut down, it is too late.

In our communities, we must hold each other accountable to our mental health as much as we do our physical. Our healing as a COMMUNITY starts with healing the individual. Healing is an inside-out process.

Over the next few blogs, we will continue to share on the issues of our emotional health.

Much Love,


Coach Carla

PS: I am currently accepting clients in my coaching program. Click on the link to schedule a FREE 20 minute discovery call.



Happy Valentine’s Day 

This is my best Valentine’s Day ever! Yep I said it and it’s not what you think.

Today, the love I have for myself , will not allow someone else’s love, make me feel better about loving me…..Let that sink in for a minute.

For too long, many of us (women and men) have wasted precious time looking for someone to be something to us, we refused to be to ourselves. (You know it’s true.)

I’m so in tune with myself these days, my desire for a companion creates a space in me which says, I am enough. When you become enough, you find joy, love, laughter no matter what your marital status. Trust me, I didn’t get here over night, as a matter of fact, it took some pain to get here.

I had to do the work of creating a daily healthy mindset. My thoughts needed to line up with the truth about who I am.

Short story…I saw this post on Facebook the other day it was a little harsh but true. “If you are sad about being alone on Valentines Day remember no one loved you on the other days either.” It can be so easy for us to fall into traps that create sadness.  Truth is, if you are alone, you won’t feel the same way about love, flowers, and candy on May 1st.

As women we should never allow a day to determine our lives, instead we should let our lives determine our day.

LOVING YOURSELF is the most beautiful gift you can give yourself. When this is your reality, you are happy for anyone who has found someone to share their love. Simply because you know what it takes to find true love, especially when you have done the work of finding the true love that exists within you.

Today and everyday is a great day to share your love. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself!!

Choose not to get caught up in a day, instead create a lifestyle of love….and if for some reason you choose to be sad, know it’s a choice.

The only person who can make you feel better about loving you is you. You must choose to exercise your right to love yourself in the good times and the bad.

It’s time to BE something different. It’s time to BE YOU,

Sending you love everyday!

Coach Carla

PS. If you are looking for love, it’s already inside you. Go celebrate!!!